America is largely a nation of immigrants, but soon people settle into their new culture and become… well … Americans.

They know the rules, how things get done, what works and what doesn’t. They know what to say and what not to say. Then when the new guys arrive, it is not difficult to forget that they (or their parents, or grandparents) were also once cultural illiterates, struggling to understand America and her seemingly-incomprehensible ways.

This scenario plays out in every nation in the world, because people are people, and the in-group/out-group model lives deep into our human wiring.

We have all been the in-group, looking at the stranger, and rejecting the strange behavior that is outside our comfort zone. We have all been in the out-group:

Perhaps you were a guest at a wedding where everyone practiced another religion, or the only man at a baby shower? You were a tourist, trying to blend in at a local festival, or a business person, feeling like a fish out of water, at a convention full of people speaking a language you can hardly grasp.

Maybe you were on home turf, watching the silly tourist, or you were hosting the foreign business person, or taking the lonely wedding guest under your wing?

Let’s agree one thing: we have all been the odd-man-out, or the new guy, lost and awkward, saying “I don’t understand how they do things here.”

My question today is “what are the rules in USA society?”. What are we supposed to do? What are the problem areas for newcomers to American Society? What puzzles people from other cultures, or stands in the way of their success? Please gift us with your questions, answers (if you have them), stories of failure and stories of success.